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Under no circumstances should parents lie to the young person. One of the following options may exist:

· If the young person is likely to be cooperative or enthusiastic about what we are doing, then it is generally wise to be as informative as possible regarding the home visit and consultation.

· If the young person is angry, out of control, or locked in a power struggle with you, then it may be desirable to limit details of your conversation to essentials. If you have doubts about his/her cooperation, notify him/her 48 hours prior to the visit.

Following are suggestions for a non-threatening discussion:

· Communicate the idea that you believe there is a problem that you as a parent need help solving and that an outside consultant has been engaged to help the family resolve issues. Tell the young person that this is a meeting to find a solution.

· If the young person chooses not to attend, a “solution” will be based solely on parental input, which may not be fair to the young person. Attendance by the young person allows him/her to be involved in the decision-making process. Since residential placement is at least a possibility, being present at the home visit avoids having a solution imposed without the young person’s input.

· Invite the young person to telephone the consultant prior to the meeting. Most will not actually make the call, but a few will. The ones who don’t will at least know that they were invited to do so and will be somewhat reassured by the invitation.

· Even the most challenging and out-of-control young person will generally participate in the home visit if the information has been presented in a fair and truthful manner.